3 day trial period ends 9th Jan 09

15 GIGABYTES OF JERKING OFF MATERIAL@YOUR DISPOSAL

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ADDED A NEW SECTION CALLED FILM OF THE WEEK

Will be deleting pages 16&17 in the next day or two so hurry!!!

I was playing Yahtzee against the Grim Reaper the other day......

Talk about dicing with death!!

Added 120+ pics to the members section

It’s freezing cold today. It’s so cold that Bernie Madoff is looking forward to burning in hell.

I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution.

1024×768.

Added 120+ pics to the members section

What do a midget and a dwarf have in common?
Very little.

Added 120+ pics to the members section

Security sources have just revealed that no-one else was involved in the shoe-throwing incident and that the reporter was indeed the sole attacker.

I got chatting to a 14 year old girl on the Internet. She was clever, funny, flirty and sexy, so I suggested we meet up.
She turned out to be an undercover detective. How cool is that at her age?!

My Gran said to me, "Young men of today just aren't as polite and charming as they were when I was young".

I had to explain, "That's because they aren't trying to fuck you now."

So Boy George has been given a prison sentence for beating up a male escort.

For some reason I think sending him to a place with loads of sexually frustrated men will not be much of a deterrent.

Ordered some stuff online the other day & I used my donor card instead of my debit card.
Cost me an arm and a leg

When I was young I used to be a great swimmer...
Back when I was a sperm

Added 120+ pics to the members section

I did some stand up at an old peoples home last week. Tough crowd.
They wouldn't even answer my knock knock jokes until I showed them some ID.

I called work this morning and I said I wouldn't be in because I was sick.
My manager asked "Just how sick are you?"
I said "Well, I am in bed with my sister..."

I had an oddjob man in to help me do some work around the house.
I gave him a list of 10 things to do.
He only did numbers 1,3,5,7 and 9.

My wife spends a lot of time on eBay.

But no, I still haven't had any bids for her.

Bulimia Twice the taste
Zero Calories

I was woken up last night by the bulimic in the flat above me.

I banged on the ceiling and shouted, "For fuck's sake! Keep it down, love!"

Added 120+ pics to the members section

Added 120+ pics to the members section

I have a dream: a dream that, one day, chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned.

Why is it that the winner of the Miss Universe contest always comes from earth?

You ever wonder whether Uri Gellar can keep a hard on when he is jerking off

Kellogg's have released a cost effective cereal that is getting increasing interest...

Its called the credit crunch

Added 120+ pics to the members section

Please note will be deleting Page 16 in the next day or so HURRY!

I've been thinking of writing a mystery novel. Or have I?

I once told my wife she looked sexy with black fingernails.
Now she thinks I slammed her hand in the car door on purpose.

Up until recently I was dating this girl with a wooden leg, but I broke it off.

My wife has left me because I am a compulsive gambler.

I'd do anything to win her back.

I can't believe Amy Winehouse self-harms. She's so irritating she must be able to find someone to do it for her

Added 120pics to the members section

We met at the adoption agency

I said "do you come here orphan?"

Isn't it just a little ironic to see a group of pro-lifers throwing eggs at an abortion clinic?

I was checking into a hotel the other week. At the counter, a guy in front of me said curtly to the receptionist, "I hope the porn channel is disabled."

Unbelievable what some people are into.

I've just got back from holiday. The hotel we stopped at was absolutely fantastic. The towels were so soft and fluffy, I could hardly close my suitcase.

One armed butlers.

They can take it, but they can't dish it out.

BURGLARS. When fleeing from the police, run with your right arm sticking out at 90 degrees, wrapped in a baby mattress in case they set one of their dogs on you.

They say that chicks dig scars, but try telling that to the last eight women I've stabbed

My girlfriend said she wanted to make me happy in the bedroom.
So now the bedroom has Sky Sports, a fridge full of beer and she sleeps on the couch.

I got thrown out of the Pub last Saturday.
Bukkake, karaoke. Its all Japanese to me.

Added 120pics to the members section

Is it really necessary to put "Shake Well" on medicine prescribed to Parkinsons sufferers? It could easily be construed as taking the piss!

Added 120pics to the members section

All this talk of dangerous genetically modified food tasting horrible is nonsense. I mean, just today I had a delicious leg of salmon.

I went to the the local library for a book, I asked the lady for a book on Psycho the Rapist, she said, I think its pronounced Psychotherapist.

Added 120pics to the members section

ONE-POINT DARES

1. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

2. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears

They say "You can take the girl out of London, but you can't take London out of the girl"...That's also why I never go out with girls from Cork...

My mate is addicted to brake fluid.
But he reckons he can stop at any time.

I keep having my profile on match.com rejected.
One of the profile questions was 'What do you want in a woman?' and the answer 'my cock' is unacceptable apparently!

Added 120pics to the members section

I got a new anorexic girlfriend.
It's not going too well - these days, I'm seeing less and less of her.

A Suicide Bomber runs into a Pet Shop and yells "You've all got a minute to get out!"
The Tortoise at the back of the shop shouts "you Cunt"

Sky diving is great for find out what you would look like with a face lift

Just been offered a 42" Plasma Tv for £100 quid, Only problem is the volume control is broken, but i thought fuck it, at that price you can't turn it down!

I've never understood why some people beat their wives.

I mean, that's like keying your OWN car

Added 120pics to the members section

There was a letter on my doormat this morning with the words "Do not Bend" on it.

I thought, well how the fuck am I going to pick it up?

Women dont want to hear mens' opinions, they want to hear their own opinions but in a deeper voice.

I did some DIY with my step-ladder the other night.

I never really got along with my real ladder.

Today was Take Your Child to Work Day, or as they say in China, Thursday.

Added 100pics to the members section

My mate Sid was a victim of I.D. theft.

He's just called S now.

SUBMARINE designers. Why not put any water pipes on the outside of the sub? That way, if they burst, there is no harm done.

Added 100pics to the members section

KIDS. Threading a piece of string through a ping pong ball and painting it brown is ideal for a fun game of conkers that conforms with the 1974 Health & Safety Act, section 52, paragraph c.

MOURNERS. Read the dress code instructions on funeral invitations very carefully. Sombre, whilst being only 2 letters away from sombrero, is a world apart in tone.

TRAMPS. Avoid being constantly moved on by sleeping outside department stores and telling the police you are simply queuing early for the sales.

GENTLEMEN. Next time you are making love with a lady, cross your eyes and Hey Presto! That saucy threesome with identical twins that you've always dreamed of.

RECREATE the danger of a parachute jump in safety by visiting Google Earth and clicking the scroll bar until you reach the ground. Add realism to the exercise by putting a fan on blowing full in your face.

FATTIES. Avoid your torso being surreptitiously filmed and used in a BBC news report about Britain's obesity problem by always wearing a T-shirt with 'All Newsreaders are Cunts' written on it.

Added 100pics to the members section

Added 100pics to the members section

Added 100pics to the members section

ADDED A NEW SECTION CALLED FILM OF THE WEEK

Please note will be deleting Page 14 in the next day or so

APOLOGIES  FOR NO RECENT UP DATE SERVER ISSUES

PROBLEM RESOLVED

Added 100pics to the members section

Added 100pics to the members section

Added 100pics to the members section

Added 100pics to the members section

WE AIM TO TEASE!!!!

Added 100pics to the members section

Added 100pics to the members section

Added 100pics to the members section

Suri Cruise, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ daughter, has landed a modeling contract for Baby Gap. She beat out a lot of other pint size hopefuls including her father.

Hillary Clinton was chastised by the Washington Post for showing too much cleavage in front of the Senate. Isn’t this ridiculous! Shouldn’t we be focusing on Iraq, not her rack?

Star Jones has announced after years of secrecy, the way she lost all her weight was having gastric bypass surgery. She went from a size 26 to a size six. I honestly never quite believed her original explanation which was that "a dingo ate my body fat.”

Just started dating this homeless girl its great cos after our date I can drop her off anywhere!

Added 100pics to the members section

Added 100pics to the members section

Ryan Seacrest admitted that he cried last weekend at Eva Longoria’s wedding. He cried when Eva Longoria married NBA star Tony Parker. Hang in there Ryan, someday you’ll find someone just like Tony.

Added 100pics to the members section

The Seven Wonders of the World were elected in a new online poll Saturday with the Great Wall of China and Taj Mahal leading the way. They never should have taken this poll on the Internet. Coming in a close eighth and ninth were gambling and porno.

WENT TO SEE THE NURSE FOR A CHECK UP AND SHE SAYS YOULL HAVE TO STOP MASTURBATING ,I SAY WHY IS IT DAMAGING MY HEALTH,SHE SAYS NO IM TRYING TO EXAMINE YOU!

Added 100pics to the members section

It’s Lindsay Lohan’s birthday. She’s 21. She’s finally old enough to start drinking. Just as she gets out of rehab.

Paris has been liberated. Didn’t we go through this like three weeks ago? She’s finished her sentence, she has been rehabilitated. Now she can go back to doing — whatever the hell she does. What does she do?

Celine Dion has released a new French language concept album whose theme is "honoring womanhood." Wait...Celine's concept album has already dropped? And no one told me? I thought I was on the mailing list. Great, now I'm in a bad mood

Mandy Moore has told reporters that she has vowed never to get nude for a film role or magazine. Mandy meet – photo shop. Either you can do it, or my 18 year old neighbor Bucky is gonna do it. Up to you.

Added 100pics to the members section
You’ll be happy to know that Paris Hilton is back in jail. If this is an episode of "Punk’d,” it’s the best episode ever

Britney Spears’ ex-husband Kevin Federline has backed out of an acting job at an upcoming movie with academy award winner Forrest Whitaker sighting a scheduling conflict. Apparently, the boss at taco bell would not let him out of his shift.

Did you see that skank whore Paris Hilton walking around with the Bible? It wasn’t even the Bible. It’s was a book called "The Bible for Dummies.”

Did you hear about Paula Abdul? She tripped over her Chihuahua and broke her nose. She’s going to be fine, but the doctor told her to wait at least six weeks before having sex with a contestant.

In an auction of "Grateful Dead" memorabilia last week, Jerry Garcia's guitar case sold for over 16,000 dollars.

A thousand for the case, and 15 grand for the coke still hidden in the lining!!!!

Added 100pics to the members section

Phil Spector's murder trial got huge ratings in Los Angeles Friday. The record producer showed up on the first day wearing a white suit and open collared-shirt and a shaggy wig. Reminding any L.A. jury of the disco era automatically softens them up

Heather Mills McCartney survived one more week on ABC's Dancing with the Stars Tuesday even though she fell over backwards at the end of her dance number. She was on her back with her legs in the air. Now the show owes her sixty million dollars.

Rapper Snoop Dogg pleaded no contest to felony drug and gun charges in a Pasadena courtroom Wednesday. It was judgment day. He got five years probation and eight hundred hours of community service, and that's just for saying nappy-headed ho's in his songs.

Added 100pics to the members section

Not such a great day for Don Imus. It was very hard to know who would go first, Imus or Sanjaya.

Carmen Electra has agreed to be the host of a TV show where women wrestle each other naked. The bad news is, the show is called "The View.”

Added 100pics to the members section

I parked in a disabled spot today, and a traffic warden shouted to me, "oi what's your disability", I said tourettes you cunt now fuck off.

This Woman's  TITS ARE GIGANTIC Click here and all will be revealed!

Running time 5 Minutes

The world’s largest airliner flew from Europe to New York today. The plane is so big, it can carry 500 passengers . . . or 80 Americans.
Added 100pics to the members section

Hugh Hefner is getting married. Hugh Hefner is 80 years old, and his bride to be is 27-year-old Holly Madison. Look at it this way: He’s got everything a girl could want; he’s rich, and he’s famous, and he’s nearly dead.

Paris Hilton threw herself a birthday party this week, and she brought two dates. Which explains why Paris told her guests, "No cake for me; I had a sandwich in the car

Added 100pics to the members section

Congratulations to The Indianapolis Colts on winning the Super Bowl

I love the Super Bowl every year! It's like the Oscars for straight guys. This is our day!

ACcording to the British Journal of Psychiatry, marijuana can cause panic attacks. I don’t know . . . The only time I have ever seen a marijuana user look panicky is when they are out of marijuana.

"You know what? The weather has been crazy here lately. Like last weekend, it was 70 degrees, and it has been unbelievably warm. It's the warmest January ever. Can you – it's hard to believe, isn't it? It's crazy. I was walking through Central Park earlier today – here's how warm it has been lately. And I think, well, it's spring-like, I think I see a robin red-breast, you know, in Central Park – turns out it was just a pigeon with a chest wound!!!

Today, Nancy Pelosi became the first female speaker of the house. This is the furthest anyone wearing a dress has gotten in Washington since J. Edgar Hoover. For all you young girls out there who’ve been following Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, Nancy Pelosi is what you call a "role model.” Nancy Pelosi said today "we’ve waited 200 years for this.” 200 years? How many face lifts has this woman had? She looks great. I had no idea.

Happy New Year !!!!!!!

Just added 100 pics to private members area and will be deleting pages 2 and 3 in the member section too so be quick!!!!!

"Their is always light at the end of the tunnel"-Princess Diana

Added 100 plus pics in the members area

How can you tell if its your turn to do the washing up?
Look down your trousers and if you've got a dick it isn't your turn

running time 10mins

this bitch is as mad as a hatter but I'd still give her something to hang her towels on just check the fucking tightness of this top OMG!!!

running time 12 mins

THeir is more spillage of cleavage here than an oil tanker over the Atlantic ocean tissues at the ready!!

You'll see these massive udders eventually covered in come after she's tease the hell out of us

Running time 14 mins

Pick-a-Pack of Plumpers for Poundin' yer Pud and Pullin' yer Pecker Peter

Not only does this chick look fucking hot but yes you've guest it she has got an amazing rack more than a handful this is not for the faint hearted she is stacked from beginning to end Enjoy. 

i like tits struggling to stay in clothes and big tits fighting to get out of tight fitting clothes is the absolute best sight to get captured by a lens!

Running time 5 minutes

Man, nothing is hotter than huge breasts barely covered and bulging to the point of bursting....especially gigantic black watermelon-sized boobs! Yowsers!!!!

 Running time 5 minutes

This Cock erecting clip with have you shooting your load within seconds and then still get your cock hard again before the clip has even finished!!!!

I Dare you not to get a hard on in this 14 minute spunkathon

WHOA!!! Watch how this Cutie tease us with her heaving bosom to the point where you can see the buttons straining at her shirt .....Nice

Running time 15 mins

Come see the full extended version of this film this cute chick with massive tits is on a tube train where she is "accidentally touched and felt up"

Running time 5 mins

This is the  REAL DEAL!!

FOR ALL THESE MOVIES  AND A WHOLE LOT MORE  FOR $2.95 CLICK HER NOW FOR INSTANT ACCESS